Click here to see a giant pair of racoon balls. Yup.
Top Ten Reasons to Not Break Microsoft In Two
10. Microsoft investors know this is the first sign of the apocalypse.
9. This would make Steve Ballmer angry. You wouldn't like Steve Ballmer angry... (cue Hulk music)
8. Tough to double Microsoft joke output, at high levels such as it already is.
7. Everybody knows that it takes at least 3 versions of Microsoft before you get anything good.
6. Two wrongs do not make a right.
5. There are already enough companies producing bloated, overpriced software.
4. Bill Gates makes a better richest man in the world than Larry Ellison
3. Already sick of the phrase "Baby Bills"
2. Pictures of Janet Reno and Joel Klein doing a victory dance.
1. Gates would head Microsoft, Ballmer would head new company called Ballsoft.
posted by Tom 6/8/2000 2:13:15 PM
Failure: I am an addict....
I regret to admit that it is barely a week into the month of June and I have already violated my oath of TV abstinance. I have commited the sin of "Survivor". I had to watch them eat bugs. I am sorry.
I only hope that I can be accepted for the flawed human that I am and that forgiveness can be found. Especially from you, dear sweet television. I took for granted the important void you filled between dinner and bedtime and I underestimed my own lack of motivation for finding other things to do.
There is hope! DSL is supposedly to be up and running again this week! Maybe the slightly more interactive landscape of the internet can offer me solace...
posted by Tom Hirashima 6/8/2000 1:53:32 PM
Monday, May 22, 2000
Hey y'all, check it out, the newest in posting tech, courtest of blogger.com. Pretty nifty if I do say so myself.
posted by Tom 5/22/2000 11:39:46 AM
This is all we got for now...stay tuned.

Did you know if you were a cyborg and your name was A.S.S.F.U.C.K., you would be an Artificial Synthetic Soldier Fabricated for Ultimate Calculation and Killing?
Yes, its true!